Dining Table Blues

 This season of life is a weird one. I am solo parenting for the first time, full time, while my husband serves our country overseas. Getting the kids back into school, figuring out our new "normal" has had quite the learning curve. There have been days when I have felt overwhelmed, or just exhausted and I have asked the kids to give mommy a quick 30 minute break to herself. Even if it is just so I can put laundry away in silence upstairs alone. They all pitch in and keep tabs on their little brother while I gather my thoughts and it has worked out well so far. 

Then, a few days ago I came downstairs feeling pretty refreshed having re-organized my towel closet in under 20 minutes and my oldest son presented me with a coupon book he had made me after finishing his homework. It had a stack of handmade hand cut coupons with all different items on them; some were for hugs, for back rubs, for snow cones, or mom gets the remote nights. He said "I know it is really hard with Dad gone so I wanted to give you these coupons to help". I hugged him back and savored the sweetness of a kid who was doing something kind for me. 

Later when I was cleaning the table up from homework time to prep for dinner, I saw that his "coupon" construction zone had left a large section of artwork on my table and next to the blue artwork was a SHARPIE marker. Deep breaths. This is one of those moments where a pause to breath is the difference between me responding as a mother in my flesh, and responding as the mother of grace God calls me to be. 

In that moments I could yell, or be upset at the new blue marks my table dons. I could risk removing the stained finish and scrub it with a magic eraser or some rubbing alcohol. Or, I can choose to make it a precious reminder of the day while their Daddy was deployed that D decided to do someone kind for his Mama. I chose option three. One day (God willing) when I have grandchildren sitting at this table it will be a beautiful tale of their father's selflessness, and concern for his mom. One day the blue will fade into smaller pieces of a gentle memory as the table wears with time. But, unlike time, my heart will remember this sweet moment forever. 

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Dining Table Blues

My Favorite Unique Teacher Gifts

 Back to school crafting made easy. 

When it comes to bringing your children's teachers a "Nice to meet you" gift.... I have always felt like the last thing teachers need is another cup, or another apple plaque for their desks. So this year I am going to share my creative juices with you and show you two of my all time favorite teacher gifts that will make you stand out in the sea of new students. 

First- The Custom Hand Sanitizer Bottle. I have always felt like this says "I care about YOU and your classroom, but also about my child's health" Bonus points if you can find school colored ribbon or match the ribbon to their favorite sports teams colors

 

Here is one I made a few years ago. 

++ Hack: use a blowdryer to heat the label on the bottle and remove it so you have a clean surface to place your vinyl on. If there is glue residue left behind you can get rid of it using rubbing alcohol and a cotton swab. Then rinse with soap and water and let fully dry before applying your design. 

My favorite deal on hand sanitizer pumps can be found here: 

Hand Sanitizer Mega Pump

& here is a free png design you can save to make your own bottle! 

Next up is my new favorite project because it gives teachers something they need, while imparting a little bit of my personal parenting beliefs/style into the classroom as well. Spread positivity like glitter right?! But don't actually use glitter... teachers hate the clean up! 

 

These jars came in a set of 4 and can be purchased here: 

Clear Plastic Mini Candy Jar  

I used my Cricut to make the quote on the front "There are no mistakes, only lessons"

then I added the teachers names to the back of the jars. Each jar holds about 75 erasers. 

You can buy those in bulk here: 

Pink Pencil Top Erasers Bulk 

All together these gifts cost me 21.50 and I was able to make something special and unique for each of our children's new teachers. 

** Tip from a Southern Mama- never go to Open House empty handed! 

Happy Crafting Lovelies! 

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My Favorite Unique Teacher Gifts

Random thoughts on John the Baptist

 Random thoughts for the morning. Last week the kids were asking us why the sun was still up at 9pm... my husband began to explain Summer Solstice to them and googled the historical significance. In doing this we learned that the church of the 4th century tried to piggyback on the pagan tradition of mid-summer by declaring the feast of John the Baptist, in celebration of his birth. This made me laugh hysterically. Not because I am opposed in any way to the church aligning celebrations with naturally occurring events, but because of ALL the people in the bible I'm fairly certain John the Baptist would hate a day that was dedicated to him. A man who's faith was so strong he often inflicted discomfort on himself intentionally to further focus his prayer and repentance. A man who ate locusts, and slept on the dirt. A man who lived with absolute humility and understood better than most that his purpose was to point people to Christ.

I am sure the church of the 4th century had the best of intentions. I am sure they felt his life of service, prayer, and humility were all traits we should aspire to. But I wonder how many times we, with good intentions, get it wrong too? Our hearts are in the right place, but we didn't really stop and "hear" the other person and so we made assumptions and we got it wrong. totally guilty, I have done that. Being vulnerable enough to let people truly know you is hard. In turn, listening and truly trying to understand someone is equally hard. If you are in the midst of a communication fumble, just know there is nothing new under the sun. Even the church gets it wrong sometimes. John the Baptist is likely holding his head in his hand this week and saying "guys, not again, it is not about me, it is about HIM". I'm so thankful that when we get it wrong God truly knows our hearts, and He see's the intention behind it, even when others don't. Grateful today, for a Solstice reminder of the gift of grace!

This past Friday, on St. John the Baptists feast day; which marks the day of his birth in the Catholic calendar, Roe v Wade was overturned in the US. While I have many friends sitting on both sides of this debate right now I can't help but sit in awe that the only fetus discussed in the bible, one who recognized the very essence of Christ from inside Mary's womb, while he too was in utero is now sharing his nativity day with the overturning of 50 years of abortion law precedent. No matter what side of the isle you sit on in this debate, there is such power in the exchange of Mary and Elizabeth's shared maternity. God is never coincidental, He is incredibly INTENTIONAL in all things. Challenge yourself to remember that sometimes things are said with hearts in the right place, but maybe not a full grasping of the facts at hand, lets remember to show each other grace too and let God be the sovereign redeemer He is!

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Random thoughts on John the Baptist

Apraxia is a tricky word!

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This post has been a long time coming. It is something I have sat down to write time and time again, but I never seem to find the right words. Which, is ironic, because that is exactly what Apraxia is. One year ago on May the 1st we received a diagnosis for Judah of Apraxia of Speech. If you have never heard of Apraxia, like me, it is a neurological disconnect between the part of the brain that remembers the muscle patterns you need to create a word... and your lips. Our sweet Judah had been in speech for years because of all the ear infections he had as a baby ( 16 infections before his first birthday and then he got tubes), or so we thought, but he really had not made any progress. He was obviously intelligent, and he could craft some of the coolest engineered "machines" to get to things he wanted; a pull system attached to a toy ride on train to yank open a kitchen cabinet, a stacked tower of toys with an umbrella to unlatch the pantry, a ruler and string attached to his carseat so he could reach the buttons on the dvd player... etc. so there was no question about the pink substance between his ears, we just had no explanation for why he wasn't speaking.

On top of that, he began to lose words. By lose, I mean, he knew the word mom and used it regularly for a while and then poof, one day it was gone and I had no name. For months he would get my attention by grabbing my face, or my leg and pointing at things he needed or wanted. This grew frustrating for both of us and his patience with us grew thin. I was nearing the end of my pregnancy with Hollis and Judah was about to age out of home therapy and enter an Early Childhood Special Ed classroom where he would get more one on one time with a teacher and a speech pathologist. Judah's first day of Pre-k actually ended up being the day I had Hollis, so I missed that. But, while I was on bedrest recovering from my c-section (God bless the c-section Mama's) Judah was struggling! I am sure in an ideal world, one would not toss their 3 year old, non-verbal child who literally had 20 words in his vocabulary IF we counted animal sounds and vroom vroom, beep, weee, as words, into a classroom full of speaking children while adding a new baby to the home dynamic. BUT, that is what we had to do, so part of me was thinking this was just regression from stress and being de-throned as the smallest human in the home..... and part of me thought there was something else going on. I gave it about a month, and then when things weren't better, I began googling. I came across an article about Childhood Apraxia of Speech and as I read it I sobbed. THIS WAS MY CHILD, I didn't want it to be, but it answered so many questions to why Judah was struggling. I showed the article to Joe and my mom, then I started to draft an email to Judah's teacher. I asked her if in his speech sessions, or in class if anyone had ever suspected Apraxia, and if this was something I should pursue with his pediatrician. His amazing teacher wrote me back almost immediately and said "Mrs. Perry, you aren't going to believe this, but, the speech pathologist was just talking to me yesterday about how she thought Judah had Apraxia and she asked me what the best way to approach breaking the news to you and his dad would be. We would love for him to see a pediatrician and get a formal diagnosis. Please keep us informed so we can best support you all and Judah during this time." Ya'll God is so good. If I had been blind sided with this info after school one day, I would have been defensive of my sweet boy, but instead God stirred my own heart and led me to the answer before the diagnosis came. We later saw his Pediatrician and a LSP and both were in agreement that Childhood Apraxia of Speech was the official diagnosis. We cried. I cried every time I talked about it for a month! I was angry my sweet boy would have YEARS of work ahead of him and even then he would always have struggles to communicate. We invested in a good children's sign language DVD series, as recommended by the SLP to help while we waited on word development and we all learned to sign as a family. Over the past year Judah has received specialized speech classes for children with his particular issues 5 days a week! He was placed in a Early Childhood class with a signing teacher so he could learn even more signing until his words came. This immediately began to relieve his frustration and when his stress level dropped life for all of us got easier. He made one friend at school, and then another, he was not "alone" anymore. I turned in my cap as VP of PWOC and took on Judah's needs as my full time job. He started receiving OT as well to work on some food issues, swallowing issues, and motor planning issues all linked to his Apraxia. Even with COVID we have continues therapy via the laptop at home. 12 crazy, intense, and hard months later I can happily say that Judah can speak! We are still a long way from full communication but, he rarely needs me to translate for him anymore and he uses both signs and words to express himself. He has gone from an anxious and disconnected little boy who used to spend hours in his "mind palace" playing alone, to a boy who loves having friends and introduces himself to everyone we see on family walks outside!

So, why am I sharing this now? Because MAY is Apraxia Awareness month and I could not let it go by without sharing our story. Because now that I am on the otherside of this year I can tell you the work was worth it 100%. Because I want you to know what Apraxia is so you can recognize it, and be compassionate to the mom who is crying with her child because she doesn't know what he wants and he(she) doesn't know how to tell her. We had many, many times when Judah was asking for something and we had no idea what it was. I would say things like "Is it a place? A food? A movie? A toy?" sometimes he would be able to help me guess other times he would just sob in frustration. I would grab his little face and say "I know those words are stuck in your head and I know you are so mad I can not understand you, but I am trying baby". Slowly they came, slowly we got better at guessing, and Judah is the best charades player I know! I am sharing because Judah has not let Apraxia hold him back, and I am so grateful to every person who has had a hand in supporting us through this journey. We have years of work ahead of us, and more challenges will come, but if this past year has shown me anything, it is that Judah is the perfect name for our son, because he is mighty like a lion, fierce, and strong in ways I don't think I possibly could have been at 3 or 4. Judah also means PRAISE and I can not praise God enough for the blessing he is to us, or the sweet upbeat disposition he has kept in spite of the struggles he has had. Apraxia is a tricky word, but God gave Judah an engineers brain and each day he gets one day closer to solving this problem!

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Apraxia is a tricky word!

Keeping your Gate

Many of you know I have been the Vice President of a women's ministry in Kansas the last several months which has taken a lot of my time and energy, but has been such a wonderful blessing from the Lord. Like many ministries nationwide, we have really had to fight tooth and nail this year to prove the validity and value of the ministry work we do here. There have been many battles, both in the physical realm with paperwork and operating procedures, and in the spiritual realm. We like to think of what has happened here as a “field clearing” because now the ground is tilled, everything has been unearthed, nothing is in the dark, and we have started to build a fresh foundation.  Foundations are the most important part of a building, and sometimes, because they are beneath what we see on the surface, they are also the parts that get overlooked. But, if the foundation begins to fail, the building collapses and is no longer useful.

So, as we have fought these battles the last few months, I have been in deep prayer about WHY this ministry that does so much and obviously bears fruit in people’s lives is having to fight so hard to prove its worth. I think the answer is really simple. As women, as  military wives, and moms, we are blessed with the job of “Gate Keeper” to our homes. In most cases women here have husbands who are deployed, or in the field and we really become the only steady foundation for our families within the walls of our house. That’s why it is vitally important that we stay plugged in to God, because it is a lot of weight on one person.  If I was your enemy and I wanted to break your faith, your sanity, your family, or your marriage…. What is the easiest way to take a building out? You take out the support beams that are holding that foundation in place! Women's ministry is that support for a lot of homes (military or not). It has been my support for over 9 years and when God moved us to a post without an active women's ministry, He called me to make my own version of it there. Why??? BECAUSE when we as women are plugged in to fellowship with Christ, and Christian women, we are stronger. Satan is smart, and we live in a time when he doesn't even need to hide himself anymore and people still refuse to acknowledge he is here. God, however,  is so much bigger than anything that get’s thrown at our gates!! Isn’t it so encouraging to have the connections and support you find when women gather together in Jesus name? We pray for each other, mentor one another, and share the burdens that this crazy military environment gives us. We watch each other’s children, bring each other meals, we even come help exterminate mice for each other (you know who you are). The Hymn "and they will know we are Christians by our love" comes to mind, when I contemplate the ways this community has stepped up in hardship this year to love on one another.  Here is a little of what the bible says about how important we are as “keepers” of our homes.

Titus 2: 3-5 says, “(Older) women likewise are to be reverent in their behavior, not malicious gossips nor enslaved to much wine, teaching what is good, so that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be sensible, pure, keepers at home, being kind to their own husbands, so that the word of God will not be dishonored.”

Proverbs 31 speaks of a virtuous wife: Her husband is known in the gates, when he sits among the elders of the land. She is the keeper of her household, and eats not the bread of idleness. Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates.

As you can see, from these two passages (and there are many more!), the woman’s role as Gatekeeper is valuable and important! Women are the builders, repairers, and guards of the gates of her home.

So this is where the history buff in me gets a little nerdy; did you know there were 12 gates around Jerusalem each with a different purpose and  regular crowd?

There was a Fish Gate, Sacrifice Gate, Refuse (Garbage) Gate, The Fountain Gate, Valley Gate, Old Gate….etc. God really spoke to me as I continued studying, fascinated by the many segregated entrances to Jerusalem. Nothing fishy ever passed through the sacrifice gate because it was Holy and only those things acceptable to God were allowed in. Different groups of people were even separated into which gate they could enter. As women we are constantly assessing things in our home and family lives : Which gate needs to be repaired in your home? What needs to be brought in through our gates? What needs to be thrown out of our gates? What needs to be built and sometimes…. What needs to be torn down. As we begin a new year in 2019 lots of us are also assessing resolutions, weight loss goals, financial goals, and making more evaluations about WHO we want to become. Attaining these goals is going to require some heavy lifting, some elbow grease, purging more, loving deeper, and focusing on the core belief that we want to be reflections of God. Because if God isn't at the center, you will likely be part of the mass gym drop out that happens around Valentines Day, just sayin....
If you are struggling to define your 2019, to establish goals you feel are attainable for you this year, if your foundation needs some work.... let me encourage you with these.

"O afflicted one, storm-tossed, and not comforted, Behold, I will set your stones in antimony, And your foundations I will lay in sapphires.” Isaiah 54:11

And

Matthew 7:24-27

24 “Anyone who listens to my teaching and follows it is wise, like a person who builds a house on solid rock. 25 Though the rain comes in torrents and the floodwaters rise and the winds beat against that house, it won’t collapse because it is built on bedrock. 26 But anyone who hears my teaching and doesn’t obey it is foolish, like a person who builds a house on sand. 27 When the rains and floods come and the winds beat against that house, it will collapse with a mighty crash.”

As we build together this year and work to become better versions of who we were in 2018, I want you all to take stock in what God is doing. Own the choices you make this year. Use the gifts and talents God has given you to do many small, but great things. Be the guard of your gate, do not let garbage pile up where it doesn't belong, let in those things worthy of a strong foundation, things that bring you joy, and peace!

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Keeping your Gate

The Parable of The Yellow Gummy Bear

Before I became a Mom, (I feel like I could begin so many stories this way, because really- wisdom comes with experience, am I right?!) Anyways…. Before I became a Mom, I never knew you could ruin someone’s whole morning by handing them the wrong colored sippy cup. But, as I have learned this is a REAL thing ya’ll! A few weeks ago I was grocery shopping with all 3 children,  on pay day,  at the commissary.  In my defense,  I didn't realize it was payday till we saw the giant snaking line and by then it was too late. So we finally get to the checkout and my younger two are melting. We have eased over into that magical period of past lunch time to nap...and they have had neither. When from the corner of my eye I see some momentary golden, salvation; a whole bag of Haribo Gummy Bears. I let the cashier quickly scan them and hand them to my children. (because we all know that shopping with 3 or more children needs to be an Olympic sport!) So- I hand my children this bag of gummy bears allowing me a few quiet minutes to check out. We get to the car and I buckle kids in carseats, unload groceries, sit in my chair and I reach my hand inside for some sweet gummy rewards, only to find the ONLY color left is the yellow gummy bears. I am holding a bag of rejected, sad, lonely little yellow bears. I'm exhausted and annoyed so my drive home I start asking some silly questions: why is this bear everyone’s least favorite? If the Haribo people know it is everyone’s least favorite WHY do they keep making it, and furthermore,...WHY is there more of it than there are any of the other colors??? Or maybe I just feel like they make more of the yellow, because that is all I ever get to enjoy  
As things often go with me …I was sitting there watching the kids play in my yard, much later in our afternoon,  thinking about this silly yellow gummy bear and how it relates to the other flavors and why it is so sad and lonely and God told me to grab my bible. I opened it up to 1 Corinthians 12:12 -19“ The BODY is a UNIT! Though it is made of many parts and though all it’s parts are many, they form together, ONE BODY. So, it is with Christ. We are all baptized under ONE Spirit in Christ, whether JEWS, or Greeks, Slaves or FREE. Now the body is made up of many parts, A foot doesn’t say “I am not a hand so I do not belong to the body” and cease to exist. And if an ear should say “Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body, it would not for that reason cease to be part of the body. If the whole body were an eye, where would the sense of hearing be? If the whole body were an ear, where would the sense of smell be? But- in fact GOD arranged the parts of the body, every one of them, just as he wanted them to be. “
You all- I AM the yellow gummy bear sometimes. I generally get along with everyone, but sometimes I am the one who is picked last, who doesn’t fit, the square peg in the round hole! BUT in Jesus, none of that matters. When we are fixed on God’s love and His will for us, God will transform us- like- here- let me make that square peg into playdoh and now Bailey fits in to whatever job/ministry/calling I need her to. Because building God’s kingdom takes every color, every talent, every part of the BODY in line with God’s vision.
SO back to my little yellow friends, anyone who is a chef will tell you that often dishes need something that contradicts the other flavors to actually create balance. Like when salt is added to caramel, it actually intensifies how sweet and rich the caramel tastes. Citrus is often used on fruit salads, not just as a preservative, but because it brings out the sweetness of the fruit. With a hint of bitterness the sweetness shines. In the BODY we will all experience people who may leave a bitter taste in our mouths (pun intended) but from now on I want you to look at those people who are a tad salty and remember that our God (who is NEVER coincidental, but highly INTENTIONAL) placed them in your life to give you the opportunity to be sweeter! How you use that opportunity is the important part, because they aren’t going anywhere and the hand can’t just wish the feet didn’t exist because they aren’t as soft or graceful as the hand. But, the hand can massage lotion on the feet, scrub it’s callouses and as a whole the body becomes healthier because of the work of that hand when it was challenged.  
Learn to LOVE the Yellow Gummy BEARS in our lives. 

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The Parable of The Yellow Gummy Bear

A Clean Stable

Guys, it has been a while. I have so longed for the time to sit down and put my heart on paper, but life just hasn't given that to me and I depend on sleep to function. In the past 9 months we moved across the country, put the kids in new schools, new groups, and found new therapist's. We had all the normal adjustments of a new assignment but the added bonus of Joe being gone for 75% of it. Doing all of this as a "geographical single parent" has been hard. My heart could not have handled it without an enormous dose of God's grace. Ok, pity party over.... because the thing that got me so excited this morning was something God showed me in my quiet time. As a recovering perfectionist I KNOW atleast one other Mom needs to hear this message today, so from God's lips to your eyes....here we go.

I have been procrastinating two minor household items because as a recovering perfectionist I literally can feel the judgemental eyes burning my flesh as workers comb through my home. We have 3 lightbulbs that need replacing and are not the kind I can do myself, and we need pest control (because jumping spiders). So, I finally gave in and set up these appointments on Friday. Then I got home and decided to tackle some cleaning, mainly vacuuming rooms and fans upstairs. I set the kids up with a new movie, gave each a bowl of popcorn and ran upstairs for 10 minutes of quick work. I came downstairs between rooms to check on the kids and our youngest had pushed a chair from the dinning room to the kitchen, climbed on to the counter and sat himself next to the coffee maker. He was COVERED in my Method bathroom cleaner and had obviously squirted some into his mouth because he smelled minty fresh. I panic. I'm washing his mouth out, stripping his clothes and calling poison control simultaneously. Thankfully, Method really is a safer cleaner because its active ingredient is Citric Acid, not Ammonia or Bleach, so other than an upset tummy we were ok! But, can I tell you the defeat as a mother when you have to call poison control!?! I thought I checked the boxes, everyone was safe, the cleaner was waaay up on the counter and yet stuff happened anyways.

All weekend I was terrified to leave the kids alone to keep cleaning because toddlers are downright suicidal and obviously my 5 and 7 year olds are too into themselves to notice Baby Houdini and his crazy antics when I'm not in the room. Into the wee hours last night and starting early this morning yours truly was cleaning like a mad woman; sorting laundry piles, and trying to find the counter under piles of school papers. The kids slept past 6 (which never happens) and I felt this tug on my heart to spend some time with God and take a break from my cleaning. I opened my Bible and started praying "God show me something new. Let me hear what I need for today". Today Inwas reading Proverbs and Proverbs 14:4 jumped at me "without oxen a stable stays clean, but you need strong oxen for a large harvest". Y'all #truth. My house would be so much cleaner and it would stay clean if I did not have children. But, that is NOT the calling God put on my life as a mom, and I have zero doubts I was meant to be a mom... it is my passion. God said in the first chapter of Genesis "Be fruitful and multiply". He said in Psalms "the fruit of the womb is a reward". He said in Matthew 9:27 "The Harvest is plentiful, but the workers are few". God knew Motherhood would be messy. He knew there were days that we would crave a clean stable and a quiet morning. But without the mess of motherhood we wouldn't have a new generation of harvesters ready to pick up where we leave off. Our future begins in our playroom; in teaching children to share, to take responsibility, to respect one another, to be loving and to help one another. It is messy and exhausting but YOUR work Mama is so valuable. Stop worrying what the maintenance man thinks of your dusty baseboards, or that you had to move laundry from the floor to the bed for the pest guy. Today, be Mom in all her glory and love on those messy little oxen with all your soul.

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A Clean Stable