A Clean Stable

Guys, it has been a while. I have so longed for the time to sit down and put my heart on paper, but life just hasn't given that to me and I depend on sleep to function. In the past 9 months we moved across the country, put the kids in new schools, new groups, and found new therapist's. We had all the normal adjustments of a new assignment but the added bonus of Joe being gone for 75% of it. Doing all of this as a "geographical single parent" has been hard. My heart could not have handled it without an enormous dose of God's grace. Ok, pity party over.... because the thing that got me so excited this morning was something God showed me in my quiet time. As a recovering perfectionist I KNOW atleast one other Mom needs to hear this message today, so from God's lips to your eyes....here we go.

I have been procrastinating two minor household items because as a recovering perfectionist I literally can feel the judgemental eyes burning my flesh as workers comb through my home. We have 3 lightbulbs that need replacing and are not the kind I can do myself, and we need pest control (because jumping spiders). So, I finally gave in and set up these appointments on Friday. Then I got home and decided to tackle some cleaning, mainly vacuuming rooms and fans upstairs. I set the kids up with a new movie, gave each a bowl of popcorn and ran upstairs for 10 minutes of quick work. I came downstairs between rooms to check on the kids and our youngest had pushed a chair from the dinning room to the kitchen, climbed on to the counter and sat himself next to the coffee maker. He was COVERED in my Method bathroom cleaner and had obviously squirted some into his mouth because he smelled minty fresh. I panic. I'm washing his mouth out, stripping his clothes and calling poison control simultaneously. Thankfully, Method really is a safer cleaner because its active ingredient is Citric Acid, not Ammonia or Bleach, so other than an upset tummy we were ok! But, can I tell you the defeat as a mother when you have to call poison control!?! I thought I checked the boxes, everyone was safe, the cleaner was waaay up on the counter and yet stuff happened anyways.

All weekend I was terrified to leave the kids alone to keep cleaning because toddlers are downright suicidal and obviously my 5 and 7 year olds are too into themselves to notice Baby Houdini and his crazy antics when I'm not in the room. Into the wee hours last night and starting early this morning yours truly was cleaning like a mad woman; sorting laundry piles, and trying to find the counter under piles of school papers. The kids slept past 6 (which never happens) and I felt this tug on my heart to spend some time with God and take a break from my cleaning. I opened my Bible and started praying "God show me something new. Let me hear what I need for today". Today Inwas reading Proverbs and Proverbs 14:4 jumped at me "without oxen a stable stays clean, but you need strong oxen for a large harvest". Y'all #truth. My house would be so much cleaner and it would stay clean if I did not have children. But, that is NOT the calling God put on my life as a mom, and I have zero doubts I was meant to be a mom... it is my passion. God said in the first chapter of Genesis "Be fruitful and multiply". He said in Psalms "the fruit of the womb is a reward". He said in Matthew 9:27 "The Harvest is plentiful, but the workers are few". God knew Motherhood would be messy. He knew there were days that we would crave a clean stable and a quiet morning. But without the mess of motherhood we wouldn't have a new generation of harvesters ready to pick up where we leave off. Our future begins in our playroom; in teaching children to share, to take responsibility, to respect one another, to be loving and to help one another. It is messy and exhausting but YOUR work Mama is so valuable. Stop worrying what the maintenance man thinks of your dusty baseboards, or that you had to move laundry from the floor to the bed for the pest guy. Today, be Mom in all her glory and love on those messy little oxen with all your soul.

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A Clean Stable

Being BOLD {in love} It's not all about Me.....

Several months ago I was able to help facilitate small groups for a Womens Conference here in GA called Planting Roots. As part of the conference there were some really fun skits, amazing worship, small group time, prayer, and fellowship. Those are the core of any great retreat! But this one skit stood out to me in particular. The lights were dim and then they slowly rose to meet a woman in the middle of the stage wearing GIANT ears! She was walking around the stage chatting with God a million miles a minute,  much like we women do when we talk to our very best friend on the phone for the first time in ages, and we finally get a break from the Paw Patrol Marathon taking place in our living rooms. ;) So, she is gabbing away and then she pauses "God did you get that?" then she continues.... a few minutes later "hello, is anyone listening?" .... on she goes ...talk talk talk. Finally she is quiet waiting for an answer long enough to catch a whisper "I think you've got something in your ear, can I take it out for you?". "What" she replies? "Me? No way, I shower every day and I have impeccable hygiene! But if you see something, yeah get it I guess". So the voice grabs her by the ear and pulls out about 6 different items that were clogging her ears "worry, bitterness, anger, pride, sin, and selfishness." Then the woman's  giant ears fell off, and her head looked a lot more normal :) she was able to finally have that two way conversation with God she had been desiring and she was a lot lighter than she had been a few moments before.

photo borrowed from Grizzly Flats 

So that brings us to the third part of the Being Bold {in love} series; the L- Listen. Do you know research shows that the reason most people get into arguments is because we listen to each other while planning a response, instead of listening to hear. I know that sounds silly, but it is true... we are so busy trying to form quick responses and get our thoughts across that we forget to digest what the other person has said. This problem is only magnified when you add in the lighting speed at which we can text, email, and message now-a-days and that tone and inflection are often lost in written conversations. When did we stop hearing? When did we stop pausing to listen for a response? What do we have lurking in our ears that is keeping us from communicating with God and with each other the way we are called to?

 "And he said to them, “Pay attention to what you hear: with the measure you use, it will be measured to you, and still more will be added to you. Mark 4:24" We are all given a measure, a portion, a part of God's bigger plan. We are all handed the guide book, and we are all accountable for how we use what we are given. To be BOLD for Christ the belief is the base for which all the others are built, the offering of yourself up to be used by God is transformation of your heart, but the real action is the ability to clean out our ears & truly listen. We have to be listening to God all the time or we will miss that call when it comes, that sometimes gentle nudge that says "I need you to do this for me". That nudge may look like this, a mom who woke up at 4:30AM today so she would have the time required to blog in obedience to HIM. It may be taking a different route home because there is a lost puppy and a girl praying for that puppy to come home, and you will chance upon it because you went right and not left. It could be the person in the pharmacy who can't afford their 20.00 medicine and God tells you to step in and bless them. Those may seem like little things, but they add up to a life that is pretty BOLD and BEAUTIFUL.  

In the same breathe if we aren't listening to God we probably aren't listening well to each other either. Being a good example for Christ means being a good companion and friend to those we do life with. When a disaster strikes people are quick to box up canned goods or donate old clothes, stuffed animals, and blankets. But do you know that there are warehouses of unused items like that sitting in most major disaster locations? We get this "fuzzy warm" feeling like we did something great by handing off our old jackets and blankets to someone "in need" but did we listen to the need? Did we take the time to hear them? "The King will reply, 'Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me'." Matthew 25:40. It is easy to toss in an extra 5.00 to buy a bouquet for someone at work who lost a loved one. It is harder to bake them a meal, and go sit with them and hug them while they cry. Sometimes what is needed most is for us to box ourselves up, and let God work through us to love on others. When you make that Offer, be prepared to Listen for what comes next, be ready to love! Last bit of scripture because I want to make sure you heard it, and then I am off to get my babies ready for school " Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says." James 1:22

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Being BOLD {in love} It's not all about Me.....

Living BOLD for Christ p2

GOD WANTS YOU! 

This is where it gets real. This is that Mary and Martha moment where God asks you to look around at your house and accept it as it is.

Luke 10:41-42 " But the Lord said to her, 'My dear Martha, you are worried and upset over all these details!

There is only one thing worth being concerned about. Mary has discovered it, and it will not be taken away from her.' "

Thats right, the time for "getting things in order" is past and you have to just accept the mess for what it is and be ready to sit with Him, hear His voice, ready to be used. Today we address the O in the living BOLD {with love} for Christ model. Last week we discussed the B- belief. When we know what we believe and we have really dug deep roots for ourselves the rest has a firm foundation to grow on. But sometimes life happens and things get messy! 

{this video of my bigg'ins is one of my favorites from when they were little- that is liquid eyeliner on their faces}

I absolutely love watching this video, I remember the curiosity in myself that made me wonder about the giggles coming from the bathroom and prompted me to grab my cell for video proof. I remember the look in both their eyes when they knew they had been caught being a little naughty. I also remember the theatrical argument Reagan put up as she tried to convince me that these obviously couldn't be my children! How funny that she truly believed a little black makeup on her face would change the way I see her; enough to make her unrecognizable to the woman who grew her inside her belly. 

But don't we do the same thing with Jesus sometimes? Don't we try and push the blame elsewhere? Don't we hide behind a mask of "black eyeliner" because we think our Heavenly Father will be angry or disappointed with us? Don't we forget that in our fear, or shame.... that we could never fall too far to be unrecognizable to our maker?

So I am going to jump out of the puddle of ooey gooey mommy memories for a minute and dive in to the bible as we talk a bit about David. 1 Samuel Chapter 17 opens by describing in great detail Goliath from Gath; the 9 foot 6 inch man who wears 170+ lbs of armor and makes men run just by talking! Saul the King is terrified of Goliath, he has drifted from the Lord and he feels vulnerable. But, then in verse 26 David (the small boy) says “What will be done for the man who kills this Philistine and removes this disgrace from Israel? Who is this uncircumcised Philistine that he should defy the armies of the living God?” David saw Goliath for what he really was, because he was so close with the Lord He was literally walking with the power and authority of God. Goliath was a bully, a problem, an evil... and he needed to go. (AWESOME) We all know how this story goes (I hope you do. If not please read it!). David didn't have huge muscles, David didn't have cutting edge weapons or super powers. He had 5 stones..... a sling shot....and God on his side. Do you know how many stones David had to use to take down that 9ft 6inch man? 1!  He walked away that day with 4 stones left in his pocket and I can't even imagine what the faces of those who doubted around him looked like. God doesn't require much friends, He can use a boy and 1 stone to slay a giant, he can use YOU to slay giants! 

The key action here, the one that moves us from belief into living for God is the OFFER. Here is my mess God. Here are my mistakes, my failures, my broken heart, my skinned knees. God life has been tough and I have not used myself the way I should have. But, I am willing to do better. I am willing to set aside my shame and put my heart and life in your hands. God I want you to use me! I want to slay giants, I want to hear your voice, I want to leave an impression that resonates so deeply with others that they hunger for more of you. Accept your mess, lay it down, take your stones.... and listen! Be prepared, because I promise that once that offer is made God is going to move. He has been waiting patiently for you to realize your strength friend, and we need all the warriors we can get in the Tribe of The Living God! Slaying Goliath for most of us probably looks more like; kicking that bad habit you have been promising you would, letting go of emotions that are affecting you ability to love, trust, or relate to others the way you wish you could. Healing can absolutely be a Goliath. Whatever that mountain in your life is, or 9ft monster.... God wants to help you get it out of the way so you can move on to greater things. Welcome to the tribe. 

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Living BOLD for Christ p2

B to the O-L-D

Today's diving in to how to live BOLD in love we talk about the B- Believe. I don't think there was ever a better example of belief in my life than my Grandmother, Patricia. Referring to yesterday's post, down to her very roots she knew who she was, and she knew what in life made her most happy- serving others. She was a quiet and soft spoken woman who's heart was truly the servant of God. This photo is one of very few I have left of her. She passes away in 1998 from breast cancer. That third photo over her left shoulder is me. She had each of her children's families and grandchildren's portraits on display equally, so no one ever felt favorited. She was compassion, and grace. When she was receiving chemo my mom was very cautious about bringing us around to visit her, because little kids are always carriers of some bug. But, my Grandma lived by faith and she believed God would protect her; she wouldn't get sick unless she was supposed to. So, she never let worry keep her from kissing us all over!

Have you ever met someone like that? Someone who is so obviously a believer and follower of Jesus that when it would be so easy for them to protect themselves they chose to put their well being on the line because they wanted to be there for others? (note; this is NOT an endorsement for abusive or harmful relationships. As a survivor of abuse do not try and love your abuser into wellness. It does not work.) This is those moments when it would be easier to just stay home and do "you", but you instead choose to go deliver a meal to a family who's mother has been under the weather. This is that moment when its raining and there is an older woman carrying her groceries alone, so you step in and help her get to the car dry and you get soaked while loading those groceries for her. This is those moments when what we believe becomes the way we live.

So what do you believe?

If you have found your faith in Jesus Christ, then you know part of our belief is a call to action. A call to live a life that sets us apart from others, just by the deeds we do daily. The key to living boldly, and having a belief that transcends the day to day in order to touch the lives of others is so simple.... it is LOVE. Love is the language that doesn't need words, it is felt and defined by our souls. If you have accepted Christ's love for you- that is step 1. If you have chosen a life that follows His teachings- that is step 2. Step 3 gets a little tricky it is action required because you "believe". I once had a Spanish Professor who told me that when examining our knowledge we should always look at the photograph not the mirror. She would joke that in the mirror she was still a 20-something swimsuit clad "hot stuff".... but in photographs she was a 40-something who ate too much Ben and Jerry's and needed to hit the gym. We can often lie to ourselves when we are self examining, but a photograph is more truthful. If you had paparazzi following you around today snapping photos of each of the mundane tasks that make up your routine, what would they see? Would the see you believing that God is going to get you to work right when you are supposed to get there... even if you get stuck in traffic? Would they see you using your belief to spread joy to someone who is struggling? Would your belief in a mighty God be visible in the steps you take, or the words you choose? How can you deepen you belief in Christ so that when those snap shots are taken you are seen listening, praying, patiently waiting and believing the answer, opportunity, lesson, or blessing is already on it's way? 

Have you had a taste of that Living Water today? Has your bible been cracked? Has your head bowed, even for a short pause? Have you shown love to someone today, whether they deserved it or not? Just like God called "the least of these" to write this blog, He invites us to love the least of these because we have all been"less than" once. Be that flower. Let your roots grow deep and long! Soak up the eternal springs of goodness, and let your faith be so well rooted that when those daily tasks shake us up, our belief is what spills out, not our emotions or tempers. "Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but those who choose not to believe have condemned themselves because they did not believe in the name of God's only son" John 3:18 

As the Lent season begins tomorrow my homework for each of you is to make a mental note to choose to believe God will come through in at least one situation this week you would normally take upon yourself to solve. Last night I had the joy of speaking with a dear friend who just moved to Japan. She told me that one of her worries with raising a 2 year old and twin 9month olds was how to break her 2 year old of a pacifier without breaking her heart, since her time is now juggled between 3 small people with big needs. So she prayed about it, she believed God would take care of it because she didn't have the answer. Then one day her daughter just dropped the pacifier and was done. She laughed and told me that taking time to notice when God has stepped in to answer a prayer like that is half the battle most days because she is just busy. Most of us would not think to even ask God for something so small. I would probably have googled it and read 3 articles on it before I even thought to pray about it. (no judging I am being honest here, remember?). But there is our loving Father, looking down from heaven more than capable of helping with every need, every pacifier, and every situation. The big ones and the small ones all matter to Him.

So there you go! Believe, it is so easy! Know truth, read God's word, and grow. Watch for the next blog post about Offering the O in the B.O.L.D. for Christ series.

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B to the O-L-D

Being BOLD in Love

I had to laugh at the Lord when this blog post was put on my heart about a week ago. If you have two eye balls and a Facebook account there is no doubt that you have seen lots of "bold" things posted in the last several weeks. Some of them the kind of bold that impassions us, and others the kind of boldness that makes us blush or slightly enraged. Either way, it is undeniable that social media has become a mixing pot of steam and emotion. What new take on boldness could I possibly offer? 

Like with anything Jesus presses on my heart, I have to ask myself, "Ok God, so what now?". About that time I found this beautiful quote from Willian Wordsworth ""How does the Meadow flower its bloom unfold? Because the lovely little flower is free down to its root, and in that freedom bold.” Did you catch that last part?? The flower is free- DOWN TO ITS ROOTS- and that makes it bold. In America we are free. That is a gift that was bought with the blood and sweat of many good men and women who came before us. What are we doing with that freedom? Is there something in your life that has enslaved you in a way that your roots are begging to be nourished again? Your heart is longing for fresh sunlight and a new day? Are your schedules so full that you are withering under the weight of your week? Has your cellphone replaced your loved ones and you get trapped "Capturing" life instead of breathing it in? Have political battles made you want to delete your social media accounts all together? I think our entire generation;  this NOW generation, I refuse to use the term millennials because it is too broad and trendy, is the last generation to remember what life was like before social media. Life with roller blades, skinned knees and catching bumble bee's in old butter tubs. Life before teens tweeted every silly thought that went through their emotional pre-pubescent heads. The last group of adults who actually got to be children, sheltered from the "who's who" news of Hollywood and the clash of ugly political battles. 

Raising three small children today I can assure you, there are thieves everywhere who want to steal your childs innocence, and never in history have they had more direct access to so many young and beautiful minds. Children have Ipad's they Skype with one another, they Face Time, my 4 year old can use Facebook Messenger but he has no idea how to wipe his own hiney (that is not from lack of trying). In our military life, technology is a huge blessing. When the need arises we love being able to use all these things to make our loved ones feel near, even when they are a word away. But, I am also saying that with all this technology and access to thousands of "stories", emotionally driven "click bait" is everywhere and the more they rile up your emotions the more a story gets shared. Before you know it the dialog has little to do with facts and we are all putting our belief in something very biased. Literally everything has become subjective. If we don't act NOW and change the dialog what will our history books read when our children are learning about today?

Here is the good news- we know TRUTH (John 8:32). We know Jesus (John3:16), We know that this world is broken (Ecclesiastes 8:8), We know that in HIM we are whole (Acts 17:28). We know we were created to be in this world but not of it! (Romans 12:2) We know that all the things of this world will fall away but our God is eternal (1 John 2:17).

(someday I am sure she will be angry I used this photo, but it fits my theme so perfectly!)

 I want to begin a 4 part look in to how we can live a life that is B.O.L.D. for Christ, but one that is lived with such love that those who appose our beliefs are brought closer to us through our differences. Lets loop back to that bold little flower for a minute- can we empower each other to be bold? Can we agree that although inherently beautiful, flowers are delicate and they need protecting, they are easily smashed, plucked, or wither without enough sunlight. It's a perfect balance of minerals in the soil that nourish it's roots, water that feeds it's soul and sunlight that pushes it to grow. Open your heart the next few weeks, let light shine on the areas you've been hiding. Let your roots stretch deeper as you get to know God and yourself a little more. Let the living water of Jesus Christ rain down on you and remind you that you are His beloved and you can do ALL things through him. Be BOLD little flower, your seedlings are watching you bloom. 

I argued with God on my ability, or inability. to even speak on this topic, I was met with a swift kick and a reminder with several verses that sometimes God calls the "least of these" for great things. So here I am first B.O.L.D. post coming tomorrow so keep a look out for it. 

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Being BOLD in Love

Jan-U-ary

Jan-U-ary 

This month is notoriously the time when people jump on new resolutions, try to better themselves, d'iet, spend less, read more..... etc. One of my resolutions this year is to be unappologetically me. Now- that does not mean for one second that I am excusing my sometimes crabby behavior and therefore removing the words "I am sorry" from my vocabulary. Nope. Those 3 words are important parts of any Christians life, because our acceptance of God's grace comes from first recognizing that we are sinners. My "unappologetically me" resolution has a lot more to do with the conversations I have in my head all day, every day. "You shouldn't wear that, it isn't quite flattering". "Oh don't share that photo, there is laundry in the back ground, what will people say?". "What are some adverbs I can toss on to my prior work experience so people believe I used to be successful at more than just human incubation?".  "Lets find a makeup that makes you look as good as Snapchat filters do". The list is pretty endless.... and at the end of the day I think most women are emotionally exhausted from THEMSELVES. Why do we do that? NOPE, not me, not anymore. I vow that this year I will cut myself a break. Yes, I am still planning to lose the rest of the weight from my 3rd baby, but I will make diet choices based on a love for my body, not because I hate____ about it. I will work out because I want to be my strongest self. I will read the bible because being a part of God's word hits the mute button on those voices I am working to silence. I vow to be the best Mom I can be, to spend intentional time nurturing my children's gifts. I will not beat myself up if that nurturing sometimes come out in a loud not so patient voice ;)  I vow to be me, wobbly bits, caffeine junkie, thin hair, not always put together, but dependent on the grace of God. 

If you could look at a snap shot of your day today would you be brave enough to post that unfiltered version on Facebook? Join me in a year of un-filtering, un-appologizing, and un-derstanding that we are all messy, silly, exhausted works in progress and that is ENOUGH. 

Dear God, I pray for the beautiful women reading this blog today. For their families, and the ones who will be a part of their families in the future. I pray for the mess we all carry. For the choices we make daily for our selves and for those loved ones; both little choices and big ones God, may they align with your will. Lord I ask that this year we would be gifted with new eyes, that we would see our mess as you see it, that we would be able to brush off the dusty bits and recognize the masterpiece underneath. Eph. 2:10 "For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago." In a world that constantly tells us we are not enough, help us remember who we were created to be. Amen.

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Jan-U-ary

Happy Tree's

Several weeks ago I took my little ones on a nature hike. Fall is my absolute favorite season and this was just about the last week of leaves we had before they gave way to winters nakedness. As we walked I snapped tons of photographs of the jewel toned shapes reflecting light from up above us. Branches played hosts to the most beautiful patterns and textures. Fall is how I know God loves me because everything explodes in warm hues and I'm convinced those trees are happy trees! 

Anyways, after walking a while we got to a part of the trail where the wind had already taken most of the leaves off the trees. My daughter asked me "what happens to all the leaves that have already fallen, mama?". 

I tried quickly to come up with an answer that wouldn't crush her tender heart so I said "Well honey, they have already served their purpose and now they get to rest all winter long like a blanket for the roots of the trees". I could almost here the Family Feud crowd shouting "Good Answer, Good Answer" in my head. But I felt like there was probably something more to this God and I would have to sort through later. I think more often than not God uses my teaching moments with my children to teach me in turn. 

As I thought about this the rest of the day and actually weeks after I began to formulate this idea of nakedness/newness. Yesterday our pastor mentioned in his sermon that 2016 has been called by social scientists the worst year ever- the year filled with the most negative things ever recorded. Ya'll that means we out complained the Great Depression, Vietnam, & The Civil War. That's ridiculous and I'm sure social media has a big part to play in this mass ability to just spew our feelings. 

Let's get back to the trees for a second. We often celebrate trees and their beauty in the Fall and again when they blossom in the Spring. BUT - what about that naked part in the middle? If you are up North those trees may be covered in a white winter coat, down here in the South they are just sprinkled with wet bark and moss right now. At first glance they can seem like sad, lonely shells of the massive beauty's they were a few weeks prior. There is a purpose to the nakedness.

 Stripping away all that is old from the previous year leaves (ha ha ha pun)  room for the new things to come. So much like the trees we have the wisdom of our achievements and mistakes from 2016 laid out at our feet and 2017 can only spring up from here. Even the Lily starts as a dull brown bulb, planted into cold and dark winter soil. Given nourishment and a few months time, it blossoms into Easter's favorite flower. Timing is everything, isn't it? If you are in a season where you feel like you have been stripped of your glory, beauty, sleep, sanity, pride, money, or joy..... please know that you are not alone in the dark. Know that each season serves it's purpose and God is refining you for the blooming that is to come. 

 I would love to walk along side you in this coming year and flood our lives with the good& beautiful. The only way to make the world a more beautiful place is to use the voice God gave you and act. Life has seasons just like this tree, my season is still a busy, crazy, overstuffed, under rested one, and yet I'm so excited to bring 2017 to life by sharing more love.  I resolve that this year I will be less of me and more of Jesus, I want to complain less and be more grateful,  I will bloom where He plants me ( as we move yet again), & I will grow in love. 

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Happy Tree's